My Jakers is 6 years old. I really can't believe it. I have had a hard time with this birthday for some reason. I usually love his birthdays and are so excited for him to get another year older, but this year has been harder for me. I have been a deep thinker this week. I have been thinking about how special he is and in particular how blessed I am to have him with me as long as I have. I know that every parent is thankful for their child's life, but for Jake and I it is different. It was a miracle that Jake was even born after a very serious pregnancy. But mostly, this week I have been thinking about Jake's food allergy's and asthma. Maybe it is because he has had a hard asthma week, or maybe it is because his allergy testing is coming up in June, or maybe God has just put in on my heart. I have had a very heavy heart. Most of the time, I have a pretty good attitude about it and don't worry much about his health or his safety, but this week I have. I have had a major burden to continually pray for him. I even called Chris one day crying and asking him to pray for him. I get in my "happy place" and don't think about how life threatening his allergies are most of the time. But this week, I have been thankful for every moment that I have had with him. God has been so good to us and I know that he will continue to be good to us no matter what, but it is still really hard. There have many times this week that I have wanted to keep him at home and not send him somewhere because I was scared. I even slept with him one night. I know that God can call any of our children home at anytime and that they would be so much happier there, but it is so hard. I have been proud of myself that I still let him go even though it scared me and that I trusted God more than me having control of the situation. I don't really know why I am writing all of this, other than I just felt like I had to. I really don't want sympathy, I just covet your prayers. Prayers for Jake and for me. Prayers that Jake will be ok, that his allergies and his asthma will go away, that God will have a constant hedge of protection around him. Pray for me, that I have some peace about this, that I will continue to trust God with Jake, and that I will trust God's plan in all of this.
Believe it or not, we really did have a great birthday weekend. I will try to get myself together tonight, so that I can post about all of the fun stuff tomorrow. Thanks for letting me ramble.
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4 comments:
Polly,
Thanks for sharing you heart. You are a good momma. Jake is a lucky, loved little boy...he truly is special, and we're all thankful that God is holding Jake in his hands! I'll be praying for peace and for healing....
Love and miss you,
Laura
Being a parent is so emotionally draining, you aren't alone! I have healthy children with no allergies and I think and worry about things that I can't control hurting them. It is a VERY lucky child to have a mother worry over them!
Polly! Wow, I don't know what to say. That put a lump in my throat and convicted me to be more prayerful where my children are concerned ... Jake may have some health issues, but he is blessed, blessed.
Polly, Thank you SO MUCH for sharing you heart. As a mom, I felt every single word. You are so transparent in your love and concern for Jake - what a blessed little boy he is to have you for a mommy!!
And what a FANTASTIC birthday party...I only wish my Jack could have been there. We'll be having our very own Dinosaur Party for his 4th this weekend!
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